The Lullaby
by Scottish Doctor
Summary: This fanfic contains pure speculation and imagination. It takes place after Carson Beckett returns to the Atlantis team at the end of season 4.
1. The Confession

**Title:** The Lullaby

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing:** Carson/Teyla

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Stargate or the characters.

**Summary:** This fanfic contains pure speculation and imagination. It takes place after Carson Beckett returns to the Atlantis team at the end of season 4.

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Chapter One: The Confession

Teyla turned from the food table to search for a place to sit. Her eyes fell upon John, Ronan, McKay, and Carter all sitting at a table, laughing about something John was talking about. Furrowing her brow her eyes scanned over the tables until she saw him. He was sitting at a table of his own at the outskirts of the room. His back was towards her but she could tell his shoulders were heavy for they sank deeper. His head was titled forward as if resting his chin on his hands. As she took a few steps around the side of the tables, traveling on the outer rim, she noticed he had not touched his plate. His head was resting in both of his hands and he sat perfectly still. Cocking her head she made her way slowly over to him. As she neared she saw a tear fall into his lap, splashing on the fabric.

"Carson," she said ever so gently and softly as she sat down next to him. He didn't move but she could hear him sniffling. She set her tray down and brought him into her arms. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her shoulder, crying ever so softly so he wasn't noticed. She leaned her mouth to his ear. "Let's go somewhere and talk." He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. His were bloodshot from all the tears that had poured from them. "Would you like that?" she asked, wiping his cheeks ever so gently, smiling softly. He broke eye contact and turned from her.

"I'll be fine, Teyla" he managed to say, voice hardly above a whisper. She dipped her head low towards him.

"I know what you are going through Carson. I've seen what you've seen….." she started to say more when he whipped his head to look at her.

"How could you of possibly seen what I have seen." He said, as a tear trickled down his cheek.

"Because I have grown up in fear of the Wraith and have survived many cullings. I've seen them feed. Seen them take life." At this Carson closed his eyes, more tears falling. She took his face in hers. "It's not something you can just forget."

"Nay…." He opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "You cannot. But Teyla….you say you've seen what I've seen but I highly doubt it." He stood, grabbing his tray. "You weren't responsible for the deaths of thousands….millions….men, woman…..children" he shuddered.

"But neither are you," she stood.

"Aye, I am."

"Michael forced you to do those things. He made you experiment on them. Made you create his army. You had to go along for the sake of your life. But what is most important is that your heart wasn't going along with it." She placed her palm flat upon his chest, over his heart.

He looked down at it and took her hand in his. "You're wrong about one thing love." He said and brought her hand to his cheek. "It wasn't for my life that I was forced to perform those deeds…..He threatened another life. One dearer to me than even my own." He looked into her eyes as he placed a kiss upon her hand ever so softly and gently.


	2. The Misunderstanding

Teyla could not get his words out of her head. All she could think about was what Carson had told her at lunch.. Could it be he felt for her? Thoughts trickled back to her of all those small smiles he gave no one but her; the longing look in his eyes whenever he saw her with John or Ronan; the softness of his touch when she was on his table; even the delicacy on that Sunday. Yes that was his clone, but he still shared the real Beckett's feelings and memories.

She was snapped back into reality as John hit her side with the stick. She winced and jumped back.

"Teyla I'm sorry." John immediately went to her side. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine John, really."

"I think we should stop."

"It's just a sting, it will pass."

"I'm worried about the baby Teyla…." At this point Teyla crossed the room and placed her hand over his mouth. "That is not a well known topic and I'd prefer to keep it on the down low for as long as possible."

"For who Teyla…Carson?" She took a step back, surprised.

"What?"

John shook his head "I see the way you gaze at him. I noticed how heartbroken and down laden you were when he….well, when he died" he made the quotation signs with his fingers when he uttered the word 'died'.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said and quickened to the opposite side of the room, placing her fighting sticks away.

"Come on Teyla. I may be a guy but I'm not that dumb when it comes to women." He followed her over and watched as she tried to avoid eye contact, busing herself with whatever she could. "You are afraid because you found comfort in another man's arms and are pregnant with his child, Carson will not accept you." This made her stop and she could feel tears weld up inside of her. "You are frightened that he will not love you anymore." She looked into John's eyes. "But you of all people should know Beckett is not like that." Teyla tried to smile at that remark as John wiped the tears from her eyes. "He loves you just like we all do."

Carson was about to enter the fighting room when he noticed Teyla and John in the corner having a serious conversation. He stopped and waited outside the room.

"I mean [bI[/b love you," John said and smiled down at her.

"Oh John" she sighed and held onto him. "You have no idea how long I've kept my feelings hidden for fear of them being discovered."

Carson could feel his heart break. A tear fell from his eye and he turned and walked away, shoving his hands into his medical jacket pocket.

John chuckled. "You just need to tell him."

She gasped and pulled away. "Tell Carson I love him?!" she shook her head. "I could never do that. I don't have the strength"

John shrugged. "When the time is right I think you will. And even if you don't…Carson will have enough strength for the both of you." And with that he left.


	3. The Proposition

Carson made his way down the hall, shuffling along. He wasn't aware of what was happening around him until Carter was right next to him.

"Carson," she said sternly.

He snapped out of it and looked over at her. "I'm sorry?"

She chuckled "I've been calling you but you seem to be in another world."

He forced a smile. "Yea well I was….for about a year" he said and looked away.

"Oh Carson I understand you are dealing with a lot right now but I need you to consider reinstating yourself as Chief Medical Officer." She handed him a file folder; his file.

He stopped walking and slowly took it from her hands, opening to the first page. Skimming over it he noticed the document was his consent to return to work. "What about….." he cleared his throat, it having gone dry. "What about Dr. Keller?"

"Oh she has no problem with it."

"No problem with it?" he raised his brow and looked into her eyes. "Here she was promoted…surely she doesn't despise the idea of it being taken away."

"She didn't want the position to begin with, Dr. Beckett, but it was forced upon her with your untimely….death."

"Yes, my death." He said, closing the folder and held it out for her to take it. "I need more time before I can go back to work."

"Alright Carson, but the offer still stands," she didn't take the folder. "Hold onto it and when you see fit to it, sign it." And with that she smiled and left him.

"IF I see it fit" he muttered as he entered his room, tossing the folder onto his desk. He then sat down in his chair and sat forward, rubbing his eyes.

Suddenly his door beeped, alerting him someone was on the other side. "Who is it?" he asked, looking up.

"It's Dr. Keller," came a soft voice from the other side.

Sighing, Carson rose, crossing the room and waving his hand in front of the sensor, opening the door. "Ello doctor" he said.

She smiled "Dr. Beckett."

"What can I do for you?" he asked, moving aside so she could move inside. She did but only beyond the doorway and stopped.

"I was wondering if you had been approached by Carter yet."

Carson turned his head. "Aye I have." He raised a brow.

"Oh, then you've already complied then." She smiled.

"Uh no," he said as he turned to face her. "I haven't really decided on the matter." She fell silent. Carson took a deep breath. "Are you in that much of a hurry to step down doctor?" he asked.

"This position is not for me Carson." She said as she looked away. "Everyone keeps comparing me to you and I just cannot handle it."

"Well you're going to have to handle it for now." He said, folding his arms. "Because I'm not ready."

"I see" she said then turned to the door, walking out. She then turned back ever so slightly and added. "The proposition still stands." And with that the doors closed.


End file.
